Love Is Never Synonymous With Sacrifice

If our relationship is one of constant struggle and it causes a lack of self-confidence and sadness, then maybe we should question the situation because love doesn’t have to be a sacrifice.

When did we start to think of love as a sacrifice? A constant struggle between sweat and tears in which a relationship continues to advance through effort.

This belief is the one that has caused many people to put up with things in their relationship that, from an external point of view, seem inconceivable.

Daily disputes that exhaust and undermine, manifestations of possession where people become objects and are no longer human beings.

All of this has led us to the famous “suffering for love” and today there are still people who consider love to be synonymous with effort, sacrifice and pain.

When love involves sacrifice

When we view love as a sacrifice, we fall into the terrible clutches of addiction, for we do all we can to maintain walls that threaten to fall every moment.

Our partner begins to be everything to us, to mean everything. However, if we are to make an effort to keep a love, maybe it would be better to let go.

And, among these sacrifices, sometimes we allow the presence of abuse in the relationship, disrespect, even infidelity or indifference on the part of the other person.

We humiliate ourselves, we allow our self-esteem to be trampled upon and all because we have learned to depend on love, to suffer for it.

Because we put love and struggle on the same level, and this involves suffering. But suffering never makes us happy. So we find ourselves in a vicious circle from which we cannot see the way out.

Sacrificing yourself for a relationship, giving yourself 100% when the other might not even give 15% is like digging our own grave.

In the end, nothing will be left of us. We will have given everything, even what we didn’t have, for a false belief about what love means in a relationship.

If it hurts it’s not love

Silvia Congost is a psychologist who helps cases of emotional dependence and has written a book called If It Hurts It’s Not Love .

In the latter she exposes various cases where suffering, despair and the fact of giving everything for the other end up canceling people and causing their life to become a ordeal.

When love begins to be a real sacrifice, it is important to redefine the relationship we are in.

Maybe we are in pain because the other person does not treat us well or, maybe, because we do not treat ourselves in the right way.

Anyway, if the situation does not make us happy it is important to give it a new turn or get out of it.

Love is respect, it is making the other a better person every day, it is passion, joy, happiness … Love is generous, it implies freedom , confidence and allows us to grow.

If love has none of these qualities and if it is identified with suffering, pain, bitterness and constant struggle, then we are not talking about love, but something else.

Open our eyes

Let us open our eyes so that we can begin to enjoy all the good of love, which has nothing to do with suffering, pain or strain.

If there is love, it will not require any effort. Things will be done by themselves, without having to monopolize, to go out of their way for someone without taking into account the consequences.

As we mentioned before, sometimes we give ourselves 100% and if the other gives 15%? We will end up being hurt, because there will come a time when we will be exhausted, the relationship will go through spurts and guilt will arise.

Let’s not confuse love and suffering to immerse ourselves in toxic relationships that will bring us to the ground.

Let’s not spend most of our life going from love failure to love failure to get the wrong idea of ​​what it means to love someone.

Now is the time to let it all flow and if we are feeling bad with someone, to see what needs to be changed or maybe it will be the time to put an end to it.

Love is there to enjoy it, savor its sweetness and allow us to come out of ourselves our best version.