Regret Is Not Just Crying: Whoever Regrets Changes

Regret is not a negative act, because it helps us to know ourselves and to grow as people. However, we must know how to measure it so that it does not suffocate us.

Regret is an emotional state that many take lightly. Surely you know someone who takes pride in saying “I don’t regret anything that I have done in my life”.

This is not true. Regret gives us the opportunity to change in order to learn from a concrete fact and be able to act with more integrity, respect and emotional maturity.

To live is ultimately to accept your mistakes and rule out alternatives in order to move forward in a wiser manner.

Who does not regret anything does not accept his own failures, experiences, offenses or relationships with people who would have been better to avoid.

The psychology of regret

Our spouse or our friends often regret what they did to us, this mistake that hurt us so much.

They show it to us with a lot of feeling and embarrassment, but they don’t change.

And after a while, they make the same mistake. They then show us that these regrets were not sincere. Why are we doing this?

We invite you to take these aspects into account.

Lack of responsibility or denial of what happened

This feature is very common in adolescents. They say they regret doing something, but it is difficult to perceive sincerity in their expression. And even less in their subsequent behavior because no change is evident.

• To regret implies to be responsible for the mistake made or the act carried out but also to feel the evil being in a real way.
• There are people who prefer to deny what’s going on, and think it doesn’t matter. This is undoubtedly a clear example of personal immaturity.

The refusal to instill change

“I know I hurt you, I know I was wrong. However, I do not want to change things and I prefer to act in the same way ”.

This attitude is usual in this type of selfish personalities, with very rigid behavior patterns.

• To refuse to change is to be unable to adapt to the flow of life, its unfolding and the vicissitudes of fate.
• Whoever does not regret anything in his life is not aware, for example, of having hurt someone.

To deny this is also to refuse to recognize the aspects of ourselves that we should change in order to live in balance. Without hurting.

Who regrets changes for real!

Regret teaches us to behave better

Sometimes we regret something. This does not mean that we did something wrong, but rather that we could have done better.

• Throughout our lifetimes, we don’t just limit ourselves to making mistakes. Sometimes we understand that it is better to take specific paths and avoid approaching certain people.
• Regret is part of learning and is seen as something natural.

For example: My relationship as a couple was not happy, I lived it badly, but I do not regret having lived it. This experience teaches me that sometimes it is better to be alone than in bad company.

• Regrets are “an existential awakening” that invites us to become aware of certain actions, thoughts and choices. 
• Another aspect that we must take into account is that we must not be “obsessed” with a concrete fact to the point of preventing us from living.

Regrets are felt

A posteriori, we must examine them from all angles to understand their causes and consequences. And then we can initiate the change or a particular action.

There is no point in focusing on this fact and feeling so much pain that you find yourself in a dead end.

• There is also another benefit to this emotional dimension. It is that we do not regret having done certain things, but not having done them.

It is without a doubt one of the easiest acts to change.

Your regrets can be existential: I regret not having told him what I felt, I regret not having made this trip… Think then that cultivating this suffering is not worth it because the solution is simple.

Life is knowing how to move forward by accepting not only mistakes and learning, but also by fulfilling our own emotional needs.

So, don’t doubt it: make this call, buy this gift, buy this ticket, take this opportunity to be even happier …